Aidan, Fatherhood, Motherhood, Parenting

Child Resilience and Mommy Guilt

Let me tell you about my brave little man. Aidan is the most resilient child I know. When he falls down, he picks himself up and tries again. Aidan is almost 10 months old and has never had a serious injury, despite all the mischief he has gotten into. This all changed yesterday. 

Nathan, Aidan and I went to the library to check out some new children’s books. In the children’s section, they have a play area filled with toys, puzzles, pillows, legos and more. While I was picking out books, Nathan and Aidan were playing with all of the toys. I soon joined them and we played with Aidan for a few minutes, before he took off to play independently. Let me tell you, this child of ours loves to play and keep busy. He goes from one toy to the next. 

Aidan crawled over to a table with lots of little toys attached to it. Nathan and I sat on the couch and watched him play. He was giggling and talking to himself as he explored. While he played and we watched, Nathan and I started up a conversation on expanding our family. We were in a deep discussion when Aidan turned towards us and tried to take a step. When he took that step he fell into the table and hit his mouth on the way down. I have never heard my baby boy scream so loud. We rushed over to him and I picked him up. It wasn’t until he was in my arms that he opened his mouth and all this blood started pouring out. My sweet baby boy had busted his lip when he fell. 

Aidan cried for a few minutes and then calmed down as we took him into the bathroom to clean him up. Luckily, all four of his teeth were fine and he hadn’t bitten his tongue. His poor lip was swollen and both of us were covered in his blood. After we cleaned him up, I took him out to the car while Nathan gathered our books. 

While we were sitting in the car and Aidan was playing in his seat, an immense wave of guilt washed over me. I could have prevented my son from getting hurt, if I had been paying better attention to him. I shouldn’t have been talking, instead I should have been next to the table and playing with our son. How can I even consider having another child, when my son is getting hurt right in front of me? I felt like the worst mom in the world. As I wallowed in my guilt, Aidan looked up at me and patted my face and smiled. This little boy had just had a traumatic experience and here he was smiling and loving on me. 

Nathan returned to the car and saw my face. He knew right away that I was feeling guilty for Aidan’s accident. Nathan looked at me and said, “this is not the last time our son is going to get hurt and if this is the worst that happens to him, we should consider ourselves lucky.” He made me realize that I cannot be one of those parents who hovers over their child 24/7. Our children are going to get hurt on occasion and this accident was no ones fault. 

Aidan has already forgotten about the incident and has been his happy self since. He is very resilient like his father. It was very difficult to watch my son get hurt, but I am slowly realizing that as he is learning to walk and explore this won’t be the last time he gets hurt. While I still feel guilty for my son getting hurt, I know it is not because I am a bad mom. Accidents happen all the time with our children, we just have to continue to teach them to pick themselves up and try again. I have also realized, I am going to make mistakes as a parent, but like my child I need to learn to be resilient and forgiving of myself. 

Molly

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2 thoughts on “Child Resilience and Mommy Guilt”

  1. I enjoy reading your posts! You learned a valuable mom lesson yesterday and Aidan and your future children will benefit from that!! We learn the most when we have failed, been hurt, or messed up!

    Like

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