Felicity Marie, Hope Mommy, Loss, Motherhood

Quick Decision

Imagine, your house is on fire. Your family and pets are safe and you have 30 seconds to grab one item and bring it with you to safety. What would it be? For some of you it might be a photo album, a wedding ring or if you are a teenager, your cell phone. The one item I would grab is my Felicity memory box. This box was given to Nathan and I the night we lost our daughter. Our nurses at Mercy hospital put together a box full of various items to remember our daughter. Each item allows us to cherish our memory of her. One item is a little booklet they made with pictures of her feet and hands within it. Another nurse crocheted a little pink hat and wrap for her. When I found out I was pregnant with Felicity, I began a journal for her to read when she was older. That journal along with her urn are nestled inside. As Nathan and I continue to cherish our daughter’s memory, when we see something that reminds us of her, we place it in inside her memory box. Out of everything I own, I would save my Felicity box in a heartbeat. I realize that I don’t need these objects to remember her, but each one has such special meaning to Nathan and I. When our son is older, I want to open this box and share these memories with him. I want Aidan to cherish his older sister’s memory as well. These little objects remind me of how lucky I am to be her mom and the chance I was given to carry her for as long as I did. As emotional as I get each time I open her box, I love having a little piece of her close by. I know I can always buy a new television or another pair of boots after a fire, but I will never be able to replace the precious items inside that box. So if I had 30 seconds to grab one item, it would be Felicity’s box. 

I would love to hear what you would grab from your house if you had 30 seconds! Feel free to comment below and tell me why you made that quick decision. 

Love and Blessings, 

Molly 

Health, Marriage, Motherhood

Self Care

From the moment you become a parent, your whole world changes. It isn’t all about you anymore. The focus is off you and now on your child. My son is almost a year old and it feels as if my life solely revolves around him. Sometimes to the point where I have neglected my physical, mental and emotional state. Over the past few months I have had to relearn how to take care of myself. For me, this means I have had to ask for help. If you know me personally, you understand how prideful I can be when it comes to asking for help. I have always wanted to appear as an independent young woman, who could carry her own weight in any situation. It wasn’t until I had Aidan and only getting a few hours of sleep, while also trying to keep up the household that I realized I couldn’t do it all on my own. I learned to lean more on my husband and stop trying to carry all the weight on my shoulders. This summer has presented many opportunities for me to rest and heal my mental and emotional state, while working on strengthening my physical state. On days Nathan is home with us, I am able to rely on him to watch Aidan while I take a nap. We came up with a system at the beginning of the summer where Nathan sleeps in, while I am up early with our son. I then get to take a long nap in the afternoon. These naps have allowed me to catch a few more hours of rest. When I am physically rested, my mental and emotional state is a lot healthier. I have also focused on taking time each day to get exercise. Through exercise I am producing endorphins which emotionally makes me happier, while also making me healthier. Besides getting more rest and exercise, I have learned how beneficial it is to take time for just myself. As adults, I feel it is very important for us to take a few hours a week just for ourselves. Whether it is spending an hour reading or drawing each day, or just walking through Walmart, having “Molly Time,” is something I need so I can mentally prepare for my roles as a mommy and wife. By neglecting my mental and emotional health, I know I cannot fulfill these roles to the best of my ability. I have had to learn over the past year the importance of self care and self love. As parents we need to take a step back from all the chaos of our lives and focus on ourselves once in a while. This does not mean we neglect our children or our responsibilities, but by doing so, we will be much happier and healthier human beings. By learning to love ourselves and take care of our mental, emotional and physical health, we can better care for our children and spouse! Remember your happiness and health is necessary and should always be a priority. 

Love and blessings, 

Molly

Christianity, Health, Motherhood

Loving Oneself

I always thought that as I grew older, I would become more comfortable in the body God designed for me. This isn’t always the case. The dreaded concerns of teenage acne and greasy hair, have been traded in for post pregnancy belly and stretch marks. Lately, I have been so unkind to myself. I look in the mirror and instead of seeing the healthy body I was given, I automatically see my flaws. It doesn’t help that as a woman, it feels as if there are societal expectations of what we should look like. These expectations consist of being a certain size and having flawless skin. Women who have had children, are judged if they have not shed the baby weight almost instantly. Television and social media shows us the actors and athletes who “bounce back” a month after giving birth.  Not all of us can afford personal trainers and nutritionists like BeyoncĂ© and other celebrities. I am almost 11 months post partum and I am still trying to lose some of the extra weight I put on while pregnant with my son. The fact is, as women we are too critical of ourselves. Instead of focusing on our flaws, we need to praise the fact we carried a human being for nine months. When looking in the mirror, instead of pointing out what we wish we could change, we need to celebrate the parts of us we love. God created each one of us specifically. He took his time designing all of his children and “so God created mankind in his own image.” Genesis 1:27. I pray one day humankind can be less critical of themselves, me included. It will take one day at a time to accept ourselves as we are. I will do my best to not judge my body for the changes I cannot always control, but for the miraculous abilities I have been given. Instead of idolizing a perfect image in my mind of what I wish I looked like, I will instead focus on maintaining a healthy mind, body and soul, while embracing my new curves and marks!


I want to dedicate this post to my husband, who reminded me that every curve and mark on my body is unique. I am like my own little snowflake. No one will ever look like me! 

Sending love from one snowflake to another, 

Molly

Husband, Marriage

Work in Progress

It seems like just yesterday my dad was walking me down the aisle towards my future husband. In August, Nathan and I will celebrate four years of marriage. The past four years have been filled with laughter and loss but most importantly, growth. Like all marriages, ours is far from perfect. 

Many times when a couple discusses their relationship, they leave out all the trials they have faced. They want so badly for others to see an idealistic marriage, because that is what is expected in this society. Let me tell you, marriage is far from perfect. Not only are you learning to share a space with someone who has different habits, you are combining two different upbringings. 

While Nathan and I were both raised with parents who shared similar values and morals, our family dynamics were completely different. Expectations in work ethic, how money was spent and where we lived are the biggest differences in how we were raised. These differences have caused disagreements in the past. Nathan and I have had to find a way to bring both dynamics together and form one that works for our little family. This hasn’t always been easy. 

We have also had to deal with outside forces who have tried to tear our marriage apart. People who are so unhappy themselves, they will use manipulation to make others around them the same way. This was a strain on our marriage, until we finally realized for our relationship to work, we had to put God first and then one another. Nathan and I have learned recently, we need to surround ourselves with others who boost our marriage, rather than try to bring it down. 

We have also had to learn how to communicate better with one another. This is not always an easy feat. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, I know I am not the easiest person to live with. I have mood swings and I struggle to find the positive in life. Nathan has found ways to bring me out of these moods, but has learned to give me space when I need it. I have had to learn how to express my feelings without yelling, and not get easily offended by how Nathan responds. 

Though our marriage has had its struggles, we have had so many wonderful moments over the past four years. A few of my favorites include: Nathan and I buying our first house, welcoming our sweet son Aidan into this world, and sharing in new hobbies together. Nathan makes me laugh every single day, he is so loving and gentle to our son and he is the hardest working man I have ever met. When God placed Nathan into my life, he presented me with a blessing that keeps on giving. I cannot imagine my world without this funny, generous, and sometimes annoying man. I thank you for these years together and I look forward to many more. 

In our marriage Nathan, I vow:

To look for the positive in life. 

To fix the sheets before you get into bed. 

To be a better communicator in our marriage. 

To learn new imitations. I know you are sick of the only two I can do. 

To not get annoyed over the simplest things. 

To make sure our freezer is always stocked with corn dogs and tater tots. 

To be a gentle and compassionate mother to our children. 

To always be honest with you, even if it isn’t the answer you want. 

To not eat your candy when you aren’t looking. (Try not promise)

To make you laugh everyday for the rest of your life. 

And Finally…

To work and fight for our marriage everyday for the rest of our lives. 

I know our marriage as all marriages, is a work in progress. I look forward to strengthening our bond and growing as a couple. I love you Nathan James! 

Family, Motherhood, Uncategorized

Happiness is…

Happiness is…

1) An extra hour of sleep in the morning!

2) Cuddling up with your favorite book!

3) Having a clean house and no laundry to fold!

4) Your spouse cooking dinner!

5) Dancing to music with your son!

6) Opening your favorite box of candy!

7) A new outfit that makes you feel fabulous!

8) Exploring a new hiking trail!

9) Cuddling with a sleeping baby!

10) Going to the library and checking out a new book!

11) Movie theatre popcorn with extra butter!

12) Finding a great deal at the store!

13) Watching your child learn something new!

14) Being called momma!

15) A hug from your spouse!

16) Sitting outside by the fire for hours!

17) Hearing the words “I love you,” and knowing they mean it!

18) Homemade chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk!

19) Looking at art for hours!

20) Walking through a garden and smelling all the flowers!

21) Visiting your favorite museum!

22) Cuddling and playing with your dog!

23) Crawling into bed after a long and busy day!

24) Baby giggles!

FINALLY…

25) Spending time reminiscing with family!

While laying in bed the other night trying to fall asleep, I was plagued by some negative emotions. I decided that instead of focusing on the negativity of life, I needed to make a list of what happiness meant to me. This list is just a few things that make me smile and love the life God gave me. I am truly lucky to wake up everyday to a new start and have a loving family who surrounds me. Sometimes I think we need a reminder of what happiness is. It can be as small as finding a quarter on the ground or as big as falling in love. With all the negativity and sadness in the world, we all need to take a moment and recognize what happiness is to us! Remember to start everyday with a smile!

Blessings and love,

Molly