It seems like just yesterday my dad was walking me down the aisle towards my future husband. In August, Nathan and I will celebrate four years of marriage. The past four years have been filled with laughter and loss but most importantly, growth. Like all marriages, ours is far from perfect.
Many times when a couple discusses their relationship, they leave out all the trials they have faced. They want so badly for others to see an idealistic marriage, because that is what is expected in this society. Let me tell you, marriage is far from perfect. Not only are you learning to share a space with someone who has different habits, you are combining two different upbringings.
While Nathan and I were both raised with parents who shared similar values and morals, our family dynamics were completely different. Expectations in work ethic, how money was spent and where we lived are the biggest differences in how we were raised. These differences have caused disagreements in the past. Nathan and I have had to find a way to bring both dynamics together and form one that works for our little family. This hasn’t always been easy.
We have also had to deal with outside forces who have tried to tear our marriage apart. People who are so unhappy themselves, they will use manipulation to make others around them the same way. This was a strain on our marriage, until we finally realized for our relationship to work, we had to put God first and then one another. Nathan and I have learned recently, we need to surround ourselves with others who boost our marriage, rather than try to bring it down.
We have also had to learn how to communicate better with one another. This is not always an easy feat. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, I know I am not the easiest person to live with. I have mood swings and I struggle to find the positive in life. Nathan has found ways to bring me out of these moods, but has learned to give me space when I need it. I have had to learn how to express my feelings without yelling, and not get easily offended by how Nathan responds.
Though our marriage has had its struggles, we have had so many wonderful moments over the past four years. A few of my favorites include: Nathan and I buying our first house, welcoming our sweet son Aidan into this world, and sharing in new hobbies together. Nathan makes me laugh every single day, he is so loving and gentle to our son and he is the hardest working man I have ever met. When God placed Nathan into my life, he presented me with a blessing that keeps on giving. I cannot imagine my world without this funny, generous, and sometimes annoying man. I thank you for these years together and I look forward to many more.
In our marriage Nathan, I vow:
To look for the positive in life.
To fix the sheets before you get into bed.
To be a better communicator in our marriage.
To learn new imitations. I know you are sick of the only two I can do.
To not get annoyed over the simplest things.
To make sure our freezer is always stocked with corn dogs and tater tots.
To be a gentle and compassionate mother to our children.
To always be honest with you, even if it isn’t the answer you want.
To not eat your candy when you aren’t looking. (Try not promise)
To make you laugh everyday for the rest of your life.
To work and fight for our marriage everyday for the rest of our lives.
I know our marriage as all marriages, is a work in progress. I look forward to strengthening our bond and growing as a couple. I love you Nathan James!