I have struggled with an anxiety disorder since I was in 5th grade. Over the years, I have been able to find ways to cope with the overwhelming fears. After Finley was born in May, I realized my anxiety was back full force. When I talked to my doctor about how I was feeling and all the fears I was having, she diagnosed me with Post-Partum Anxiety. It has not be an easy past three months with PPA. I have felt so out of control with worries about everything. I can’t seem to turn my brain off, especially at nighttime. Which causes me to have bad insomnia. Exhaustion on top of all the stress and fear, makes my anxiety worse. It is an ugly cycle I cannot seem to break. My fears range from “is my toddler getting too much screen time and not enough socialization with other kids” to “what if something happens to one of my boys, and I have to bury another child?” This anxiety makes me feel like I am failing as a mom to my children, because I cannot give them my full attention, while having these crippling fears. I am plagued 24/7 questioning whether my boys are getting the short end of the stick, having me as their mom. I realize I am being harder on myself than I should, but that is all part of this disorder. This post isn’t like my other posts, where I try to inspire others. Instead, I wrote this post to try to find another way to heal from my PPA. While writing and talking to others about my anxiety has helped some, I still feel irritable and stressed all the time. I pray daily for these worries and fears, and I hope soon I will be able to get back to my normal self. If you have struggled with Post-Partum Anxiety or Depression, what are some ways you have been able to cope? Leave me a message in the comments with some tips!
Love and blessings,